wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
