Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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