and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
and you fell through a lawn chair
How naked do you want me to be?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
