she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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