somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
