dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
