16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
