you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
