I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
