Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
