It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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