So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
operation have a gay friend backfired
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
