Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
