The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I deserve this hangover.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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