i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize