how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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