What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
