Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
