Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Randomize
