a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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