omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
