No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
