I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
