I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
