Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I deserve this hangover.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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