I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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