In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
