that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize