Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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