some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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