Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
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My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
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Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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