Sry I called you an 8
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
How naked do you want me to be?
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