i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize