I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
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I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
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But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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