good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize