I looked at my own cervix.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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