It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
