I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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