fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize