Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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