sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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