another moral hangover. fuck.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
