I like my sex mixed with concussions.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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