Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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