I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
