We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize