But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Randomize
