Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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