How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
