"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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