i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
