I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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