Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
