Christians are straight up FREAKS
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
