dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
