Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
