Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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