well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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