Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
