That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
