Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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