Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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