It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
