The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
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