not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
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so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
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I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
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