I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
