There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
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so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize